Weekly Movies – Week 19

Coffin Baby – Horror (2013)

A serial killer is going around town, he kills a young woman in her bedroom and kidnaps her sister. She is now locked up while the serial killer is tormenting her.

So……………………. The Asylum strikes again, oh wait it’s not an Asylum movie.
This one was sometimes ok, most of the time the acting is extremely bad and the script is extremely bad. The music, my god they f****d it up real bad, they have scenes that cut to a next scene but the music cuts like middle of a song and starts in the middle of an other one. The premise was nice but badly executed. Would I watch this movie again? Nope.

My Score: 2 Stars (2 / 10)

Dead 7 – Horror, Western (2016)

The zombie apocalypse has ruined the world and the us has been thrown back to the 1800’s. People live like cowboys and try to survive. A woman called Apocalypta can control the zombies and has a foul plan to kill all the humans. 7 Heroes will try to stop her and her minions.

So……………………. The Asylum strikes again!
Shit hits the fan all over the world and people become freaking cowboys? Not normal cowboys no, post apocalyptic cowboys with face paint and other weird bad mad max clone looks. This was a weird movie, I thought it was a Horror Comedy but according to IMDB they take themselves very serious. Acting is crap, script is crap, special effects are hmmm ok, music at the end was extremely crap. This was a total pile of doodoo, zombie doodoo (according to nerd studies on the interwebs zombies can excrete certain kinds of matter, lets call it doodoo). The zombies are f***ing stupid, don’t know what their acting instructions were but damn they look like spastic fish trying to go back to the water. The characters are over the top, normally I would not mind that as I like B-Movies, this was irritating and not necessary. Character development? Well The Asylum does not believe that people need to like characters, right? Would I watch this movie again? No, Please can I have my time back?

My Score: 2 Stars (2 / 10)

Halloween Night – Horror (2006)

A young kid witnesses how his mother is and father are murdered and his skin gets maimed by a boiler or pipe that was shot its steam. He is accused of murdering his parents and is put into an asylum, years later he escapes and starts a murder spree.

I will start with this, The Asylum, nuff said.
Not even 10 minutes into the movie and there is a lesbian sex scene with boobies. A lot of unnecessary profanity and the rest of the acting is atrocious. The make up of the main guy was really, really, really bad. This movie was utter crap. No, I will never ever watch this movie again. The Asylum you have done it again.

My Score: 1 Stars (1 / 10)

Hollow Creek – Crime, Horror, Mystery (2016)

A writer and his extra girlfriend (he is married) go to a cabin in the woods. He has to write a new book and he needs a quiet place. His girlfriend hears and sees things in the house and is spooked. At a gas station she sees a kid in a car and she follows the car suspecting foul play. She gets captured by the guy driving the car who is a kidnapper. The writer is blamed and he starts looking for her. Will he find her?

Holy shit stain Batman, this one was not the worst movie I have ever seen but this might be in the top 50 of worst movies seen. The Acting is at times ok but for the rest incredible bad, too stereotypical and certainly too illogical. The script makes no sense, the writer is accused of killing his girlfriend but they base it on something, don’t know what but they do. The horror element is almost nowhere to be seen but heck a few creepy dead kids is scary. The ending is too much, really it is so crappy I can’t even find words to destroy it verbally. This one I will never lay my eyes up ever.

My Score: 2 Stars (2 / 10)

Hush – Horror, Thriller (2016)

A Deaf woman lives near the woods, she is deaf and mute and lives alone. She is friends with the neighbours and she is trying to write her second book. Everything seems fine until a masked man shows up killing her neighbour while she does not hear it. Now the man will stalk her.

I am again pleasantly surprised, this movie was actually good. The bad guy is really a bad guy, mood is very unpleasant (which is good in this case). Good acting, good scenery, somewhat believable. I can’t say more about it, would I watch it again? Eventually yes.

My Score: 6 Stars (6 / 10)

Jack’s Back – Crime, Horror, Mystery (1988)

A serial killer is copying Jack the ripper, it kills women on the anniversaries of the original Jack the Ripper killings. A young doctor finds hints who it might be, but can he stop the serial killer in time?

Don’t see the Horror aspect in this movie but I still liked it. The violence is very effective and not overused, acting is very solid. Script seems ok, it could have been better. While watching it felt like a tension was building up, which is very nice when watching movies. I recommend this one if you like Crime, Thriller like movies. Would I watch this one again? Maybe some day in the future.

My Score: 6 Stars (6 / 10)

Krampus – Comedy, Fantasy, Horror (2015)

A dysfunctional family are celebrating Christmas, the youngest kid is being picked on. In his anger he says he hates them all and with that he summons Krampus and his minions. Krampus wants to take them all to hell.

I liked the movie, normally I don’t like these kind of movies, horror, comedy mixed with Christmas. Acting was ok, special effects where good. The story is nice and the minions are a nice touch. If you want a “scary” Christmas horror this might be a movie for you. Would I watch it again? Maybe around Christmas.

Spoiler Alert - Krampus

My Score: 5 Stars (5 / 10)

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – Action, Horror, Romance, Comedy (2016)

Pride and Prejudice with zombies, that is the movie to be honest. This is set in an alternate universe than the original Pride and Prejudice, zombies and humans have battled for a long time and humanity is it seems on the losing end. There are some men who court the sisters, a mother who really wants them married and their father has taught them to be zombie killing machines. Zombies seem to be a bit smarter than before, how is it possible?

I liked it, it’s that simple. The humour was refined and very witty, the scenery was awesome, special effects where ok, acting was nice and script is also not shabby. Normally I am not a fan of costume movies but this one was good. Probably I like this movie a lot because of the mash up of two genres. The two genres are not expected to be compatible, they proved me wrong. If you want to see a zombie flick with lots of action and gore then this movie is not for you. If you like witty humour, great scenery and more I described above then this one might be for you.

My Score: 7 Stars (7 / 10)

The Dead Room – Horror, Thriller (2015)

A family run out of their home because it is haunted, they leave everything behind. A group of “ghost hunters” come in to prove that there is nothing wrong with the house, big mistake. It seems that there is more than just the wind.

I am surprised, in a good way, I liked the movie, really. This is not an oscar worthy performance but it is in my opinion quite solid. Story wise I also liked it, you do not see too much of the paranormal things directly but that adds to the movie. There are some flaws in the movie, weird decisions on the wrong times, but heck it is a horror movie. Would I watch it again? Yes due time I will.

Spoiler Alert - Dead Room

My Score: 6 Stars (6 / 10)

The Invitation – Thriller (2015)

After a couple their son dies they drift away from each other, two years later the woman asks er ex-husband and his girlfriend to a dinner. Lot’s of old friends are there and all glad to see each other after a long time. The new husband has invited 2 friends as well. The father who lost his child is named Will and he suspects something is very wrong with this party. He tries to convince the rest in some way but they all think that it is a form of grieve. Will might be right, there is something wrong, but what?

You need a bit of patience for this movie, it builds up to the last act of the movie. The build up is solid but slow, a lot of character building and they go into the psyche of a father who lost his son. Acting is quite good, I felt that this was a good thriller. Thankfully it ended in a good way and not in a cliché like most movies in these days. Would I watch it again? I might if I have a “marathon” where this movie fits into.

Spoiler Alert - The Invitation

My Score: 6 Stars (6 / 10)

The Stranger – Horror, Mystery, Thriller (2014)

A stranger comes back to his old home town looking for his wife who ran away years ago. He goes back to his old house finding a young man who comes into trouble. The Stranger helps him and they find out that he is not fully human.

Intriguing story but the acting was very bad, there are some exceptions as always. The town they are in is supposed to be Canada, no way Jose, it is too obvious that it is somewhere else (It was filmed in Puerto Rico) with all the dust and drought. Eli Roth is involved so of course Lorenza Izzio has a role in it, sadly enough. Special effects have been used quite smart. Music is nice in some scenes, oh to come back to not being in Canada the accents of some actors is way too obvious and irritating. There are voice overs which are extremely terrible, but all with all this movie was entertaining. Would I watch it again? Don’t know it is always possible.

Spoiler Alert - The Stranger

My Score: 4 Stars (4 / 10)

IMDB Watchlist = 4396

Author: Federico

I have created this blog so i have a way to vent my random thoughts. It will be a journey without an end.

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