So I haven’t written anything in about 3 months, as I stated in my first writing I suffer from a nasty form of depression.
But I am back and with an update, here we go.
One of the biggest things in the last few months has been (and is) a law suit against an established government institute. It took 2 years to get this far but we went to court and it seemed that the Judge was not pleased with the government institute and the way I was treated. We got a letter saying that we won and they would not go to higher court. Now we have to wait until the institute makes a new ruling about the case and hope that they will comply completely. If not then it will take even longer but we think it is the last few weeks up to a month or two and then it is over. Less stress about this (and thus money) would be a very good thing, maybe it means better sleeping and such.
Well what is there more to write about? I will be starting a new therapy soon, it will take one year. It is a therapy specially with people with borderline and such (I will explain in a few sentences). It will take me 2,5 hours of group therapy and 1 hour of individual therapy per week, this will be quite difficult for me but I will try to soldier on. But after waiting for some time I will mostly be busy with the therapy.
About my depression, well I am going to get new medication as one of the antidepressants I have do not seem to work and thus I will get others that might be better for me. According to my psychiatrist my depression might not be a temporary thing but part of my emotional and personal disorder(s) which means a different way of treating it and is thus much deeper embedded into who I am. But first I will try out this new medication even though it might have some unpleasant side-effects.
Other big thing is that my girlfriend has a injury in her left foot and can’t walk too well and must go through some very irritating tests and maybe at some point surgery. I have has surgery on my hands for carpal tunnel syndrome, why do I write this down? She seems to have tarsal tunnel syndrome, we are not sure yet but it is most likely for now. This means no walking for her after the surgery for a few months. Another hardship but after everything we have been through in the last 3 years plus we will get through this as well.
In role playing there are some new things, I have created a new setting called Ultimum Telluris, we have formed a group with some friends so we can do some live role play werewolf in Delft. For now my girlfriend can’t go with the group and I am too depressed for the moment but we will join them soon.
Now we have that out-of-the-way, I am doing ok. I do notice that my depression has gotten worse with the law suit going on. It eats away at me, and now it is almost over I can sense that my patience is being tested far too much. I am trying not to take it out on those I love and up to now it is going quite well but it is not very easy. So trying to stay calm is the most important thing for now, even though it is difficult.
I have kept myself busy a lot with watching series with my girlfriend, we have watched all the marvel tv-series and are up to date and we have begun watching Stargate SG1 and we will go through all the series and movies (we have seen the original movie don’t worry) so that will keep us occupied for a while. And between the series we watch WWE and it’s events of course (World Wrestling Entertainment for those not into Pro Wrestling).
There is probably more to write but that will be for a later post.
I have created this blog so i have a way to vent my random thoughts. It will be a journey without an end.