There I am sitting down in front of this computer screen, I have contemplated to write a short story or maybe even a book I have even thought about writing a script for a short movie or comic book. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head but at the moment I am far too chaotic to produce something that I would be proud of and sadly enough there is something withholding me from writing, and it is very nasty. I suffer from a massive depression and I am not talking about feeling down or something like that, I am not talking about feeling sad because my car broke down or someone who I care about said something wrong, no I am writing about a major one where you think about taking your own life at some point. I am not writing this because I want your pity, I am writing this because I cannot go on like this and I need to do something keeping me sane. Now I have started this I will see where this ship is going to take me.
Let me introduce myself I am Federico at the moment I am 34 years old and I live in a city called Schiedam in the Netherlands. I live together with my girlfriend, she is my rock, she is the light in this deep well I am in, she is the one who give me hope so I will not lose all my marbles.
I have been prone to depressions all my life, never have I learned how to let go, from something small like being called fat up to losing my house. But every time I fell into the deep well I somehow had the power to get out of it, but I am not capable to get out of it anymore I do not have the energy and power that I had when I was younger.
Again I do not want any compassion from anyone I just need to write off my feelings so I have decided to write once in a while. This will be weird it can be something real about my life up to some weird story I have had in my head for a long time. I will write everything I feel that I need to.
Who knows I will let other people read these stories but do not worry feel at ease to skip stories or you know what you do not even have to keep on reading it is all up to you. I write this mainly for myself but who knows I can inspire others or maybe even give some support but that is a big if.
I have created this blog so i have a way to vent my random thoughts. It will be a journey without an end.