Sometimes I get an Anxiety “attack” out of nowhere, I know this is a part of being Depressed and such. But it is a nasty feeling, specially if you do not know why it happens. It must have something to do with all the stress building up and it needs to be let out in some way.
It can of course also be triggered by the amount of sleep that I am getting the last few months. Which is a whole story on it’s own but maybe I will write about it another time.
What I feel is not just that slight uneasiness in ones stomach, that is how it starts and then my breathing becomes irregular and my thoughts decide to only think of all the worst case scenarios that can happen involving my current situation. The feeling goes through my body and I need to move my leg(s) or maybe even “drum” with my fingers. Thankfully it does not become a Panic attack, I have had only one just yet, I want to keep it that way.
So the only thing to do is write about it and hoping it will help, focusing on something else can help tremendously. Watching a movie besides it also works rather well that means I have 2 distractions at the same time. At the moment that is a good thing.
Handling such a moment when I get anxious can be very tiresome and very frustrating. Trying to not lash out to those around me (in this case my Girlfriend) also costs a lot of energy. Calming down or feeling better will take some time and that will also on its own term cost a lot of energy.
Thankfully I have had great help to manage these moments a bit better, but I am not yet there it will take a long time and it will be a long road. Well that was my random post for today.
I have created this blog so i have a way to vent my random thoughts. It will be a journey without an end.